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Take Back Your Balls

You are a nice guy.  That is wonderful.  We love nice guys.  But, the habit of a lot of nice guys is to be attracted to strong women.  Strong women are also wonderful.  But, often in the realm of relationship these strong women can end up running over and even becoming bullies to their men.  Over time, the patterns of the woman taking control because the man gives up all of his power can lead to a lot of imbalance and pain for both parties.  Because, what a strong woman really wants is for her man to be a little stronger, to take the reins so that she is not always responsible.  If you don’t lead and you are with a strong woman, she will take up the slack because in her mind, someone has to do it.

When deciding where or what to eat, do you always ask, “What do you want?”

Just make a decision.  This is simple.  Yes, we know you want to please us.  But, when she is always making all of the decisions she gets really frustrated.  Take her on dates where you have made all of the plans.  Let her relax into her feminine of knowing you have it worked out.  Be prepared that she might complain.  This might cause you to stop making the decisions, but don’t let it.  

When you are making love to your woman, are you constantly asking for feedback, praise and instruction?

Your woman might enjoy telling you what to do sometimes.  But, sorry to tell you, your woman also wants you to magically know what to do in the bedroom.  This might not sound fair, but a lot of women are uncomfortable explaining about the clitoris or exactly what to do at every moment.  Sometimes, they have no idea what they want so they can’t tell you.  Read, take workshops, stop watching porn (which is no way to make love to a woman) and experiment.  Be present with her body and learn what it feels and sounds like when your woman is really turned on.  Tell her what you see.  Praise her body, her taste and her sound.  Tell her what to do sometimes.  Even the most liberated, powerful woman likes to be told what to do and be ravished in bed on occasion.

Does your woman handle all of the finances? Is she the one that budgets and pays all of the bills?

Even if you make all of the money, placing her in full charge of this aspect of your lives while you remain ignorant of the process is a way that you might be giving up your balls.  Plan and work on these things together or at least split things up a bit.

Are you able to ask for what you need?  Do you even know what you need?  Or, have you been giving up your choices and power for so long that you are not even sure what you desire?

Take time for yourself.  Discover what gives you joy and pursue it.  Nothing is more sexy than a man who has a purpose, personal pursuits and personal practices.

Have you lost your power?

Are you always in conflict?

Does your woman seem out of control to you?

Has she become a mean bully and you are walking on eggshells?

Has she become your mother?

She has been allowed to have anything she wants and behave anyway she wants.  And she is miserable.

There are some ways to take back your power.

Learn a physical or energetic practice that builds your personal power.  Yoga, martial arts, weight lifting and exercise help bring you back to balance.

Reward the behavior that works for you.  Find out what she really loves and surprise her.  Not when she has a temper tantrum, but when she is kind.

Consistency is critical in establishing your power.

Not your power over her but your power over yourself.

Your self control.

Your ability to stay strong.

Your ability to stand for what you want.  Even if that means saying no.

Your ability to stand for her.

A woman melts when she knows that you have taken your power into your hands and are acting in your and her best interests instead of just giving in to everything that you think she wants or she says she wants.

That is what she wants from you ...that will turn her on and open her up.

It is an open hearted kind of power.

Not power against anyone.

Power where you are your own man.

Power where you don't placate anyone.

Power where you stand up for yourself.

Power where no one takes advantage of you.

Power where you go for whatever it is you want in life and you teach your son to do the same thing.

This kind of power will result in your children and your wife utterly respecting you.

And ultimately it will result in her not needing to look anywhere else for satisfaction.

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